this wasn't in the plan |but life is still pretty good

I wouldn't really call myself disorganized, but I certainly used to be more organized than I am now. I used to make lists and put them on paper, now I make lists and put them in my head, which (believe it or not) isn't nearly as effective. If I put things on a written list, I actually have to do them. It's much easier to procrastinate the list in my head.

I think I've become afraid. Of being productive.

I know the thrill of being able to cross out something on a to-do list, but at the same time, If something is on my list, well then I might have to do it. I guess I'm afraid of the guilt and pressure I'll feel when I don't finish what's on my list. Maybe? It's not that I have a huge list of things to do each day, it's always quite manageable, but it's so much easier to put off something that isn't written down.

But I need to organize myself a bit more. I've recently felt that I try so hard to be frugal in so many ways, yet I'm not frugal with my time. I need to write more down, I need to formulate a plan (and write it down) that will help me focus my free time a bit more. I must overcome this completely irrational fear.