this wasn't in the plan |but life is still pretty good

I've been thinking lately of what my definition of productivity is. I have two little boys at home and time spent with them is important, after all, that's why I am a stay at home mom! But sometimes that means that my other duties fall by the wayside. And that frustrates me.

I like to have a clean house. I'm not obsessive over it, but I like to keep the dishes done and the toys at least confined to one area. Sometimes I feel like if the house is a mess at the end of the day that I wasn't productive. I must forget about the time I spent reading stories and playing cars and running around in the backyard. But I shouldn't forget about those things. Those things are important too.

In order to face my fear of productivity, I need to redefine what I consider productive. Some days, it needs to be measured in hugs and not laundry. And time for me is important too, because my sanity is worth something.

Sometimes tasks take longer than expected, or maybe a lego tower is in need of building or a story needs to be read, and those things tend to throw me for a loop moreso than they should because they take away time from other things. But does it really matter? Ultimately, I need to shift my mindset away from the thought that clean bathrooms = productive day. And, lest you think I choose vacuuming over the kids - I don't (normally). The vacuuming just feels more productive. But it shouldn't.